I strongly believe that the older we get, the tougher it is for us to settle down in life. And by us, I especially mean women.
For one, we are getting married late. When our parents were young, they got married at a younger age. They were relatively inexperienced and fell in love easily – mainly because they had no one else to compare their partners with. In a country like India, which still relies on arranged marriages to a large extent, this was all the more important. Lack of experience (and in turn, expectations) made it easier for them to settle for whoever they met.
The older we get, the more set we get in our ways. The more people we meet, the more we know about the things we want, the thing we don’t. No longer are we looking to make adjustments, settle down or change ourselves. The more independent we become, the more exposure we get – the more we demand from ourselves, our partners, as also from life.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m all for expanding our horizons and choosing our own pathways in life. In fact, in one of my blog posts, I mentioned just how important it is for all of us to not settle for anything in life – and to ask for the world. All I’m saying is – the more I know myself and grow as a person, the less likely I am to settle.
And why not? We’ve stepped out of our comfort zones to stay away from home, be financially independent and build our careers We’ve spent years educating ourselves and carving a niche in our respective fields. Somewhere, in all of this, life became so much more than finding a partner and settling down.
Fairly obvious, no? Yet, “society” (for lack of a better term, if you will) fails to understand this.
The same society that encourages us to get out of the rut and build flourishing careers expects us to find “the perfect groom” and settle down. Those same people are the ones who meet our parents at weddings and taunt them on not getting us married soon enough. Those same people question why someone at 30 isn’t married yet or why someone at 35 chooses not to have kids. The same society that pats us on our back when we earn a decent living, tells us to quit working as it’s a mother’s duty to raise kids.
I just have a tiny request.
Dear society, please choose one path. Either support us in our quest to become independent and successful and let us do our own thing. Stop judging us. Stop holding us up to your idea of how women should behave. Stop expecting us to mould ourselves a certain way. Stay out of our business.
Or simply stop pretending to do so.
“Don’t expect us to be Alpha females at work but Beta at home. We can be one or the other. Choose.”
P.S. I cannot thank my stars enough for giving me a set of parents who are more progressive than anyone I know. Love you both to bits ❤
To read the first part in this series, click the link below:
Confessions of an Independent Woman
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